Saturday, December 30, 2006


"I'll believe it when I see it." Thanks for the support Pequeña, and yes I am still on track, and I am doing fine, granted, Thursday was very difficult, that fucking snow storm had me snowed in, so I had no distractions, on an average day, I am busy and that doesn't leave a whole lot of possibilities for the hormones to mess up my day, but since I was in my house, by myself, with not a whole lot to do, well.... It was, well, ( and I didn't want to use a pun here, but fuck it ), it was hard, so I needed to focus on other things, which was not at all easy, I did dishes, laundry, all my laundry as a matter of fact, wrote, cleaned up, and watched TV, which was a mistake, because there is always some half naked woman on TV trying to sell you something.
My biggest mistake was to keep watching Nip/Tuck, it is a great show, but it really made things more stressful, on season one Matt has a threesome with two REALLY HOT cheerleaders, I know, poor guy, but I managed, and Friday was OK, today I feel great and the lack of sex is under control, next week , I hit the gym, I have to burn this energy somehow.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

How many days and how many nights?

So, I have decided to focus on things around me in a different way, and it is odd how I came up with this decision, but I have decided to put sex way down the list, waaaay down where it just doesn't get in the way, and if nothing of a sexual nature happens, great, I welcome that, I think I really need to focus on people, not that I am a hound dog, but if I really want to build a relationship with someone, then, I need to focus on how much I know the person, how we get a long, and what type of connection we have, I am aware that this might take a while, but things that are good take some investing, and things that are great take a whole lot of effort. So i am putting an effort to focus my attention in different ways, and, if anything, this will be an interesting learning experience, and I am all about that. I wonder how difficult abstinence is on a long term basis, well I know that is isn't easy, but, those dry spells haven't been a conscious decision to grow in other areas, they have just been shitty dry spells, no booty, no fun.
But this is something that feels right, so I guess I am gonna get to know that girl I am interested in, in an interesting way, hhhmmm, this reminds me of that movie "40 days and 40 nights", oh well, let's see what happens.

Monday, December 18, 2006

So, where these people even there?

I was just at a holiday party, for the staff of Governor Bill Owens, and it was a quaint little get together, free booze, and finger food pass around on trays, the decorations in the official residence of the Governor are fantastic, the house in itself is beautiful, but the bullshit that was in the room was astonishing, granted, it was a republican gathering, nothing else is to be expected, but the way they were speaking of Bill Owens' "integrity and morality", all that phony speech of his values and his example as a person. The guy was fucking around with his mistress, he has an illegitimate child, and he is a huge fucking asshole, as a person nobody likes the guy, and everybody is glad he is leaving office. Agh, Republicans.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Scratch that.

No more Crew, at least none that I am interested in investing to much time with, hey shit happens, but the important thing is the lesson learned, so, I learned hypocrisy comes in any package, and that a coward is not the best option for a friend, oh well, not a whole is lost, but now I want a crew, hhhhhmmmm, paradox..... hhhhmmmmm, the search is on, in the mean time a good book is always great company.