Wednesday, July 26, 2006


I managed to get away...
But I can't take off my skin
to shed the horror, the dread,
seems I'm still sweating fear.

The games the mind can play
-games it seems I'll never win-
bringing back the panic... The dead
and it is always crystal clear.

Though I survived... In a way
living tastes just like sin
couldn't heal... So I fled
but I'm stuck in the same gear.

( This is something I wrote for a character in a movie, sadly the project never took off, but t he experience was good. )

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I went, but I had to come back

Sometimes we find something that helps to define us, sometimes we will find something that we had no idea was missing, but fits perfectly in to our life just like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle fits flawlessly in the landscape picture cut up into 2000 bits. I am a Capoerista, this is part of what I am now. And just like the beard I am now regrowing, and the color blue I substituted in my early adolescence for the color green, I am now bringing it back full on, Sometimes a change won't do you good, sometimes looking outside of the box just makes you realize that you already have the answer boxed up and ready to go.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


So...I am aware of my age now more than ever, I can't help being this young, it's not my choice, and I can't speed up the process of becoming old, even though I feel like I am considerably underaged for my persona, I should be 32, or 35, something like that would make more sense, and I don't understand how my age has always been a disadvantage as far as dating, the last woman I had something to do with freaked out when she found out I am twenty four, she thought I was in my thirties, and that in itself was young enough, she is forty, as I said: She freaked out.
I have heard countless times how youth is the best time of one's life, be it childhood, adolescence, or the early twenties, somebody is always saying how those years were amazing, and I don't get it, I do enjoy certain things of being a young adult on my own, but from that to actually think these years rock well, that is a very big leap, and to be honest, I hated puberty, so if it is down hill from here, then I will welcome whatever thrill there is to come, last Friday night I almost got in a car accident twice, in a time frame of less than five minutes, curiously enough I wasn't afraid for myself, not at all, but I was worried for the guy that was driving, anyway, no harm was done.
So now what do I do, I guess the best thing to do is grow up regardless of my age, not that I am an immature person, but I can become 28 or 30 regardless of what my state ID says, first step, regrowing my beard, and this time it will not come off for a very, very long time. I should probably buy a car as well, definitely a computer, but the debate is whether or not should I say my real age. What do you think?